The Big Bowl touchdown

March 14, 2013

If there's one thing you never thought would be a popular topic before you had a child it's this: poop. Yep, since the monkey was born, the better half and I have had an endless number of conversations about our little girl's poop. At first it was about newborn poop - you know what it was supposed to look like that first poop, how it was supposed to look, when it would happen and then once it happened how gross it was and how we were glad it was over. And then over dinner even we started talking about our newborn's frequency of poop and the consistency. I learned that this is a common subject for all new parents. This continued on to potty training where we then not only talked to each other about No. 2, or as the better half likes to say, "Dropping the Browns at the Superbowl," we also talked to the monkey. Poop took a long time to come to the potty and when it did we practically threw a party. It was a very, very exciting event in our house, the poop in the potty, and we told everyone we knew about it.
I would even discuss poop with my baby store customers and still do in fact - only about their kids' poop and how it would relate to my kid's poop, in regards to potty training. You know "My kid hides in the corner when they are going to poop instead of going on the potty," etc.
So the monkey finally was potty trained a week before her third birthday, many of you may remember my "hallelujah" column where I celebrated the peeing and pooping in the potty with all of my readers. Since then, she goes potty and we don't really talk to much about it any more. I have to say, I am glad that we have once again moved on to more intelligible subjects of conversation, but once in a while it still does pop-up. Like when the monkey and I were in a public bathroom over the weekend. I was holding the door for her, (she very independent now you know, doesn't want me to go in, just hold the door,) and I hear a sigh. "What's the matter sweetie?," I ask. She had informed me in the food court she had to "take a big poop," rather loudly a few minutes earlier.
Again, rather loudly, "My poop is not coming out Mommy!" I hear someone cough uncomfortably in the next stall. "Well," I say. "Just relax and give it a few minutes."
"Okay," she says. Then another sigh. "Wait, Mommy! Here it comes!"
Another couple of people come into the bathroom.
"Oh wait, I think my poop is paused."
"Um," I say, glancing at the lady washing her hands. She smiles at me. I turn a bit red.
"Oh never mind," she calls. "It's coming, coming, coming! There it's in the water now! No I'm wiping! Just a little more wiping needed Mommy! Wiping, wiping, wiping!"
I felt like I was listening to a play-by-play of some sporting event.
Needless to say I was glad when she was done and out of that bathroom! Now enough potty talk!